I’m excited and proud to share with my community — YOU — an opportunity to start/continue your anti-racist journey. But first, let me tell you how we got there.
The month of May left me reeling. I found myself needing to dive head-first into seeking joy in every way possible (seeing friends, running races, traveling, celebrating my birthday and Mother’s Day), to balance out the rawness and reality of March and April 2021. I shared so much of myself, and my story on this and other platforms— most of which I had spent little to nil time processing for myself in advance of writing, that I unknowingly led myself to this place of feeling very exposed and tired. I had many conversations about race— in my marriage, in my workplace, in my groups of friends, with my parents and siblings — that I had never considered having (or needing to have) before.
One theme emerged in those conversations, from many people that I highly respect. I can’t count the number of times someone said to me some variation of the following: “No matter how hard you try, there are some people whose minds you will never change.” What they meant was — there will always be people who will be racist. There will also be those who are unconvinced that White privilege exists. There will be the doubters who continue to ask me, “Why are you dragging race into this conversation?”
I love a veritable challenge, but will admit upon first hearing this — I felt 100% dejected. I was scratching my head with puzzlement. And I didn’t know quite how to respond. At the time, and still currently — I was trying to determine how best to invest my time and energy, and what strategies to deploy — to shed light on how insidious Racism is, and how it touches nearly every part of each of our every day lives. To hear very smart and hopeful people express doubt in our ability to make a difference in this conversation, or lack of conversation, stymied me.
Until it didn’t. The opportunity was never to fix it all. The opportunity and Call to Action is to stand and make a difference, at an impactful magnitude — where and when you can, using what you have, exactly where you are. So I came up with the following framework, which is a way to understand the Anti-Racist Continuum, and your place in it.
I’m sure we could debate the proportionality of the boxes. For instance, out of every 100 people, do I really think up to 10 of them are Racist? Who knows. But I think we’re directionally there. Instead of focusing on the numbers, the framework above excites me because it enables me to start to focus my work. My time and energy is not well spent trying to convince Racists that racism is real. Forget the left-most purple-colored box. Instead, I am energized to commit to taking any action I can to help the “Not Racists” become Anti-Racists, so that in the future, we will see a schematic increasingly more like the below. If we do this together, we can erode the ground on which the “Not Racists” stand, and bring many more into the Ally/Co-Conspirator camp.
The journey to Anti-Racism is exactly that — a Journey, not a destination. You will never actually arrive. I’ve learned in the last few months that Anti-Racist is a title that is continually earned. And it requires that you walk the walk, and talk the talk. Mess up (inevitably), and be unafraid to try again in the next moment, the next day — Every. Single. Time. The great thing is, that you can mess up, and recover, and get better for next time!
So what do I think will actually meaningfully matter in terms of changing the hearts and minds of the “Not Racists”?
Conversations. 100% conversations. Conversations are hard, they’re messy, they’re uncomfortable, they’re enlightening and they make a difference. Like any new skill, we have to learn how to do it. We have to put ourselves through the paces if we’re to get stronger, and more able. We have to be unafraid to fail, so that we may one day succeed.
Have you ever been in any of the following situations:
- Accidentally stumbled into office water-cooler jokes that were “somewhat” racist
- Been the butt of a racist joke at a party
- Scratching your head at how to talk to your kids about racism that they personally feel, or inflict on others
- Pouring gravy over your tofurkey at Thanksgiving when good ol’ Uncle Philip starts into his reliant diatribe on the loud Black woman at the grocery store
I can tell you, that not surprisingly, I’ve experienced all of the above and more. And I’m sure many of you have too. Do you wonder how to start the conversation in each of the above scenarios, and ensure that the conversation will be effective? How do you approach conversations seeking to learn, and with grace, so other the other parties will be receptive, and you can maximize your effectiveness?
It is for this reason that my Chief Co-Conspirator (@megancaldwellpdx) and I have developed a relationship with Brigit Ritchie and Court Roberts, culture of belonging and inclusion gurus and the founders of Welcome to WE. They have delivered trainings to Fortune 50 companies nationwide, and are renown experts and catalysts to meaningful and deeply-needed change.
We share a hypothesis that one of the most impactful things everyday people can do to combat racism is to have conversations about race. Learning each others’ stories significantly humanizes our fellow humans. Megan and I feel especially grateful that Brigit and Court were open to developing a curriculum for Us — for Anti-Racists, or Anti-Racists in training — to give folks like you and me the tools to have intentional and meaningful conversations with our friends, colleagues, and family wherever you are — around your dinner table, with your kids’ friends’ parents, or in a professional setting.
I would like to invite you to JOIN ME in this training. We all have learning to do. Take your first (or your next) step with me!
Details are this link, including a video Brigit and Court created to give you a sense of what you will gain from your attendance. This will be a heavily participatory session, and I truly hope to see you there. The “Anti-Racist” title is the biggest (and hardest) promotion you can give yourself this year, and that starts with taking action — today and every day.
